If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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