i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
