So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
