how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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