It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
