His pubic hair was longer than his dick
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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