I need help removing her.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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