His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
