On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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