He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
