Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
