the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
