and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
