he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
