I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The uberlube is also flammable
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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