Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
