Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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