I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
