Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize