We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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