i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
