wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
