I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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