i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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