i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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