you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
