the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
