Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
