he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
high people should be assigned attendants
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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