she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
