ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
