I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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