Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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