he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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