he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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