my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
