Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
ttyl tear gas
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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