toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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