I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
