Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
