i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
