she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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