just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So squirting runs in the family.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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