He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
