I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We are all done wearing pants today
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
