Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
