Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
