girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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