Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
