but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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