omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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