ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
